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Family Conflicts Concerning Elder Care and Senior Housing Options | Fedelta Home Care, Seattle WA

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August 11, 2015

Family Conflicts Concerning Elder Care and Senior Housing Options

When it comes time to start making decisions regarding your loved one’s care it can be challenging to get the whole family on the same page. Everyone is trying to find the best care, however each family member may have a different opinion on how to go about providing care. Several families agree that senior housing communities are the best option for their loved one, however there are still major decisions involved in planning a move for your loved one. We see three main conflicts arise among family members regarding senior housing placement services including senior housing types, location, and financing.

Elder care and senior housing options

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Type of Senior Living Facility

You might think that all family members would agree on the type of living facility based on the stage that a loved one is in and needing help. Most of the time it is easy to see if a loved one needs a lot of additional care, or if they are starting to lose their memory and need to be in a memory care community. Unfortunately, you and your siblings may disagree on the level of care needed, or the type of home your parent would enjoy the most. Another scenario that we see often in families is that the siblings or family members agree on the same place, but disagree with the parent that is moving into the place. No matter the situation that your family is facing it is important to set a family meeting and discuss the level of care needed for safety, the pros and cons of different types of housing, and why each person feels one place may be better than another. Take a step back and try to see if from the other perspective. Work to find some sort of common middle ground to create the best solution.

Location, location, location

One of the biggest points of discussion can be around location. Should your loved one move into a home that is closer to where you live or in a home closer to the city that they are more comfortable with? Location can be a very important factor in finding the perfect senior living home. If your loved one is still very mobile and will most likely be in an independent or assisted living home it may be best to put them where they are more comfortable doing day-to-day activities. Since they might be able to go off site they may prefer to stay in their city where they are comfortable. If your loved one is suffering from a chronic condition or needing extra care where you might want to visit more frequently it may be best to locate a home closer to where you live or somewhere in between so the commute isn’t as long. Take into consideration how much time you plan to travel to visit your family member and how often they might want to travel to the nearby grocery store or local restaurant.

Financing Care

Finances create plenty of tension in any and every situation; it is no different when it comes to financing care for an elder. Families often have to come together to decide the amount of funds needed, how the funds are being provided, and how it can best serve their loved one. When searching for a senior living community families will find out that not every community is equal to another. Some offer more amenities, onsite staff, community events, etc. The location may also factor in the pricing on the senior home. It can be tricky to tackle this topic even if you have agreed on the other topics above. You may have found the perfect location, the perfect type of community, and yet the home you have on your mind is out of the budget. This can be heartbreaking to have to figure out the next step. After discussions, planning, and organizing if the price of living is higher than you or your family can afford than it is out of the question. This can cause frustration among the family and fear that your loved one won’t be placed into the right home.

We know that this is exhausting and at the end of the day you just want to care for your family. It can be challenging with several family members sharing their opinions and feedback. We know that there is a responsibility you feel for your loved one and we are able to help relieve you of that burden. Let one of our Care Solution Advisors meet with you and your family members to discuss your options. We can help you through each of the tough conversations, look at the situation with a new perspective, and make our suggestions based on our expertise. We know that there might be tension among family members and we are ready to sit down with the whole family to work out the best plan. Let us help you by calling 206.362.2366 and starting your free senior housing placement.


Caring.com is one of our trusted resources providing articles and information relevant to elder care. Read this article about how to handle family conflicts.